When I was in elementary school, we used to have to memorize a poem every week and recite it to the teacher for a grade. For someone like me, this was super easy. I’d memorize the poem immediately, go recite it, and then instantly purge everything I’d just memorized from my short-term memory.

Except one poem that stuck with me.

30 days has September,
April, June, and November.
All the rest have 31.
Except for February which has 28,And in the Leap Year has 29.

I actually use this poem in my everyday life. “HOW many days are left in January? Well, let’s see…” However, it’s such a stupid poem. It starts off all rhyming and sing-songy. 30 days has September, April, June, and November. But then at the end, you’re running words together just to cram it all in. ExceptforFebruarywhichhas28andintheLeapYearhas29. It’s like the poem version of those quickly mumbled warnings during drug commercials. Anti-depression pills may cause side effects suchasdiarrheaheadachesconstipationsleeplessnessdepression
suicidalthoughtsandmorediarrhea.

If you google the poem, there’s actually a Wikipedia page about it. And the Wikipedia page reveals that there are about 543895798983 different versions of this poem where people wanted SO DESPERATELY to both make it rhyme and accurately explain why February was different.

Thirty days has September,
April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one,
Except for February: It is done
At twenty-eight, but leap one more
When the year divides by four.

No. Just give up.

Thirty days has September,
April, June, and November;
All the rest have thirty-one,
except for February alone,
which has four and twenty-four,
’til leap year gives it one day more.

You’re trying too hard.

Here’s my version:

30 days has September,
April, June, and November.
All the rest have 31.
Except February.
February don’t give a fuck.