30 Days Has September (April, June, and November)

September 2When I was in elementary school, we used to have to memorize a poem every week and recite it to the teacher for a grade. For someone like me, this was super easy. I’d memorize the poem immediately, go recite it, and then instantly purge everything I’d just memorized from my short-term memory.

Except one poem that stuck with me.

30 days has September,
April, June, and November.
All the rest have 31.
Except for February which has 28,And in the Leap Year has 29.

I actually use this poem in my everyday life. “HOW many days are left in January? Well, let’s see…” However, it’s such a stupid poem. It starts off all rhyming and sing-songy. 30 days has September, April, June, and November. But then at the end, you’re running words together just to cram it all in. ExceptforFebruarywhichhas28andintheLeapYearhas29. It’s like the poem version of those quickly mumbled warnings during drug commercials. Anti-depression pills may cause side effects suchasdiarrheaheadachesconstipationsleeplessnessdepression

If you google the poem, there’s actually a Wikipedia page about it. And the Wikipedia page reveals that there are about 543895798983 different versions of this poem where people wanted SO DESPERATELY to both make it rhyme and accurately explain why February was different.

Thirty days has September,
April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one,
Except for February: It is done
At twenty-eight, but leap one more
When the year divides by four.

No. Just give up.

Thirty days has September,
April, June, and November;
All the rest have thirty-one,
except for February alone,
which has four and twenty-four,
’til leap year gives it one day more.

You’re trying too hard.

Here’s my version:

30 days has September,
April, June, and November.
All the rest have 31.
Except February.
February don’t give a fuck.

Things You Didn’t Know: The Truth About Tater Tots

We’ve all heard of Jacuzzi, Kleenex, Post-It, Xerox—and all those other brand names that became the generic term for all forms of that product by all manufacturers.

But did you know that the humble TATER TOT lives amongst their midst?

I started to suspect something was amiss when I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some frozen tots before heading to a friend’s house. (She was making homemade tomato soup and vegan grilled cheese. I felt tots would be an appropriate side dish. Feel free to agree with me.)

Standing there, in the freezer aisle, I realized something.

Potato puffs. Tater puffs. Potato rounds. Tater treats.

Tots 4Why weren’t they called tater tots? I’d always called them tater tots.

Naturally, I consulted Wikipedia. The knowledge repository informed me that “Tater Tots” were trademarked by Ore-Ida.

The little registered trademark symbol on Ore-Ida’s website confirms this to be true.

“If it’s not Ore-Ida, it’s not Tater Tots.”

Tots 3