Turns out that being an adult isn’t about all the things you imagined as a kid. Extravagant love affairs. International jet-setting. Buying a home and filling it with impeccably designed touches of your personality.

The true meaning of being an adult is just adding alcohol to all the things you drank as a kid.

-Juice.
-Hot chocolate.
-Eggnog.
-Tomato juice.
-Punch
-Soda.
-Coffee?

That’s it. That’s the secret of adulthood. Being an adult is hard, but the universe has given us fermentation as a way of coping. As a child, you don’t need alcohol, because you have mystery and imagination. And then you realize that the world is difficult and your dreams don’t matter.

Please pass the juice.