6 Truly Scary Halloween Shots

Need to bring something fun last-minute to a Halloween party? Never fear! (Except when it comes to your own mortality.) I have prepared this list of truly terrifying Halloween shots.

Please note: I don’t believe in measuring.
The Ghost
1 part espresso
1 part kahlua
(Because it keeps you up all night.)
Always delivered with the reminder, “We’re all going to die one day. Enjoy.”

1 part granny apple vodka
3 pennies from the bottom of your purse
1 Lemonhead
(Let the lemonhead dissolve. That gives it that jolt to really make it come alive.)
Don’t worry about the pennies, alcohol kills germs.

The Sexy Vampire
Tomato juice
A dash of pepper
Serve with tampon as garnish.

The Basic Bitch
1/2 teaspoon of pumpkin spice
Apple cider

The Trick or Treat
2 shot glasses
In one: Sprite and Bubblegum Vodka
In the other: Sparkling Salt Water
Choose wisely.

The Slimer
1 teaspoon corn starch
Stir and let sit for 60 seconds.
Try not to puke.


Meaning of Being a Grown-Up: Figured It Out

Turns out that being an adult isn’t about all the things you imagined as a kid. Extravagant love affairs. International jet-setting. Buying a home and filling it with impeccably designed touches of your personality.

The true meaning of being an adult is just adding alcohol to all the things you drank as a kid.

-Hot chocolate.
-Tomato juice.

That’s it. That’s the secret of adulthood. Being an adult is hard, but the universe has given us fermentation as a way of coping. As a child, you don’t need alcohol, because you have mystery and imagination. And then you realize that the world is difficult and your dreams don’t matter.

Please pass the juice.

baby ctina on a phone