Every witch needs a familiar.

IMG_1114 v2This is an outtake from my at-home photo shoot coming up with pictures to go along with my last xoJane article about how my Catholic grade-school classmates thought I was a witch.

Maleficent horns? $3 at CVS. Purchased after midnight on a whim.
Cape? Already had it for some reason.
Makeup? I contoured my face with green eyeshadow.
Chinchilla? Terrified. “human no have horns. u not my human. u impostor. i fight for life.”

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Your Weekly Shmiek: First Edition

If there’s one thing I know about people, it’s that they love pictures of cute fluffy animals. And I am the Human to a cute fluffy animal. In fact, the fluffiest of all animals–a chinchilla.

Meet Nimbus C. Shmieks, Esq.:

IMG_3417
Look at those goddamn ears.

Every week, I’m going to give the people want they want. A new picture of Mr. Shmieks.